Satire Online Racing Association Announces Controversial New Regulations
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- Satire Online Racing Association
In a very unpopular move, the Satire Online Racing Association announced new regulations regarding driver safety. All drivers must now wear the MKCSS device while racing online.
The MKCSS device, or Monitor and Keyboard Crash Simulator System attaches the monitor and keyboard of the driver's machine to a electronic collar that is placed around the driver's neck. In the event of an accident online, the monitor and keyboard immediately fly at the driver's head, simulating the effect of the crash. The result is that the 'sim' is taken out of sim racing. The electronic collar is plugged into a free USB port on the driver's machine and sends signals to the race server to indicate that the driver is still connected to the system. Should the driver disconnect the collar a 'crash' is immediately created.
Series Administrator Joe Satarinski explains why the new regulation was necessary. "We were having a large occurrence of drivers wrecking after falling asleep during our 300% length races. We were also having a problem with drivers driving backwards around the track. We needed a solution that fixes both problems and the MKCSS provides a solution that will deter drivers from hitting anything other than pavement."
SORA drivers were none to happy with the new rule. "After I broke my leg falling out of my chair last year at Bristol I thought that would be the worst injury of my career", says series point leader Danny 'Satire Boy' Krakowski. "This is just stupid and can only lead to more injuries in online racing."
Rookie driver Ace Bugeater says that he is not too worried about the new regulation. "I think it is great. Every time I try to race online my wife starts whacking me with my keyboard anyway, so I am not afraid of the pain.
The SORA series moved ahead with the regulation even after a MKCSS testing accident fatally injured one of the series' official testing monkeys last June. The monkey's family filed a suit against the Satire Simulated Speedway Corporation of America. Investigators found that the MKCSS device was not properly mounted on the monkey's machine and found for the defendants.
Note: This entire article is for entertainment purposes only. No real (or virtual) monkeys were harmed in any way.