Flashpoint: Pro Series Recap From Texas Race #7
- NR4
- Published ()
- Flashpoint Racing Series
Site: Texas Motor Speedway
Tom O’Hara Takes First Pole and First Win at Texas for Excalibur Racing Sword
Of the ten drivers of the Pro Series that have competed in all seven events this season, up until Texas, Tom O’Hara had no poles and no wins. But he did have consistency, which placed him second in driver points, and only 97 points behind the leader, Troy Worrick. Coming into Texas Motor Speedway, O’Hara had three top fives and six top tens and remains the only driver besides Worrick to have a top ten win in all seven events. His best finish before Texas was third at Darlington. Tom’s #11 Dodge pole winning speed was 122.482 mph, and he was the only driver beside Gary Truman, who took the outside pole position, to break into the 122 mph range. Any hope that O’Hara had for Excalibur Racing Sword of significantly closing the gap on Troy Worrick points lead diminished as the race went on. While O’Hara took the extra bonus points for leading the most laps with 50 of the 134, Worrick was right there with him most of the way as he lead for a total of 40 laps. As the race, which was fast paced with only three cautions, come down to the wire O’Hara had managed to pull away and finished 3.16 ahead. But it was Worrick who came up from seventh to finish second. As a result, O’Hara cut only ten points off of Worrick’s lead. But at least O’Hara no longer has to worry about the monkey on his back of no wins and no poles. Tom had this to say after the race, "Man, that was a fun race. There were some real fast drivers out there on Sunday. First off, I want to say thanks to my Excalibur Racing teammates. While we didn't get as much practice together as we would have liked, our track time was very valuable. During the course of a couple of weeks, I was able to get together some sets for different weather conditions, and it really paid off. Especially since the forecast predicted warmer weather than we had at race time. Oh well, what do you expect for weathermen? I only worked on a race setup the entire time. I honestly have to thank Bob Stanley from Team Lightspeed for posting some setups on his site. I used his Q setup with no changes, and I was able to not crash just long enough to get a pole. Now, on to the race. At the start, I could only lead a few laps before Gary (Truman) and Troy (Worrick) passed me. Troy had a good car and led a bunch of the early laps before our green flag stops. Scott Gilroy was fast too. Before the first pit stop, all I could do was stay close to Troy and Scott (Gary got punted early and was a non-factor the rest of the race). My car was junk off of turn two and I couldn't get on the throttle the way I wanted. I made a couple of adjustments on the first stop and fortunately they were the right ones. I was able to get on the gas when I wanted to and that let me compete for positions. There was a lot of good and careful racing and our lowest caution count of the season. Awesome fun. I think that was only the seconnd green flag pit stop we have had this season as well. As for the points battle, Troy still has a huge lead, and he is tough at every single track, posting top five finishes in every race. He is looking great for a title, but I will try my best to make him earn it. "
- Nickname: (the search for one continues)
- Banking/Turns: 24 degrees
- Distance: 1.5 miles
- Shape: Quad-oval
Here is what Troy Worrick had to say about his battle with Tom O’Hara, “Yes, me and Tom had a great race nose-to-tail most of the race. I had stayed out for an early caution, which put us on different pits strategies. (So)I had to pit about 10 laps before Tom and Scott Gilroy, who were locked in the battle with us. I pitted under green and after the pit stops shook out, I had about a three second, lead which I was happy about. I was very concerned though, if I had enough fuel to finish. I think I was about one lap short. But a caution flew about 40 or so laps from the end. We all pitted making me happy setting up a run to the finish. But Tom O'Hare with the first pit box beat me out. When we went green I had two teammates one lap down between us on the start. I felt very good about my chances as we went green. I fell in behind Scott Gilroy, Tom and Joe Simmons waited for about 15-20 (laps) before making my move. Joe waved me pass as we got side beside. I lost momentum causing me to loose the draft of Gilroy and Tom. I could never get back in the draft as Tom pulled away for the win. He had a very stout car and deserved to win. He drove a great race. I think the race was won on pit road. The Game Commander2 Super Sport Chevy pit crew will be working hard on pit stops this week.”
By the finish of the race, Joe Penland, Jr. was probability wishing he had not missed the race at Bristol. Joe showed the top drivers that he had not lost any edge because of his brief absence from competition by starting fourth and leading a total of 13 laps, and finishing third at the checker in the #1 Ford. Penland, who dropped from second to fifth in points, pulled himself back up to third place with his strong performance. With the #4 Chevy of Worrick taking second, it was a two-three finish for Super Sport Racing 1. And it was almost a two-three-four finish for the team, but that was ruined when Dana Lee, who started as usual from back in the field (this time from the middle of the pack in twelfth) pulled ahead of Christian Blalock’s #74 Chevy and placing his #48 Chevrolet in fourth for Excalibur Racing Sword. But even with Lee coming up to finish fourth, Tom O’Hara most have thought he was surround by Super Sport Racing drivers for almost the entire race. Scott Gilroy, who had placed his #6 Chevrolet out front since the first race of the season at Daytona, found himself contending with O’Hara and the other “big boys”. He put on quite a performance for the Super Sport Racing 2 team by starting third and leading for a total of 19 laps. Unfortunately, Scott found himself the last car on the lead lap in tenth at the end, but he is now poised to break into the top ten in points. As to the other two members of the dynamic trio, Steve Grehn and Ray Meizoso, Jr., they may have had a falling out. Grehn placed thirteenth in the #76 Dodge, while Meizoso finished sixteenth, separating his #77 Chevy from Steve, with the #86 Chevrolet of Ian Kaul in fifteenth, and the #26 Dodge of Dave Finkel in fourteenth. It’s time for Scott, Steve, and Ray to have a get together party by finishing first, second, and third in the next points race. But you guys get to decide who finishes in what order.
The driver that improved the most positions was Jeff Russell of Excalibur Racing Shield. Jeff started nineteenth and moved his #12 Ford up to finish just outside the top five in sixth. Jeff also led for two laps. Finishing behind Russell was Michael Matthews of Fayetteville, North Carolina, in the Team Ordnance #68 Dodge. The outside pole sitter Gary Truman, the only other driver besides Troy Worrick with two wins on the season, lead 4 laps but drifted back to place the #199 Chevrolet eight. The only other driver to lead was Joe Simmons with 6 laps. Although he led, his #86 Chevy ended up where it started in eleventh.
William Hill, who won at North Carolina Speedway (Rockingham to the rest of us) and five top ten finishes, had a bad day. He started eighteen in the #40 Ford, which was bad enough, but then completed only 39 laps and finished last. Hill gets the Goody’s Headache award for his troubles. The only former Semi-Pro driver to compete was David Schaeffer also had a bad day in his #56 Pontiac. The BT Motorsports B team driver started seventeenth and finished just ahead of Hill. Roger Hurley of Super Sport Racing 2, who has apparently lately taking too much advantage of the reverse gear, started ninth and finished seventeenth, but better than his Bristol performance. His former teammate at Loose Cannons Racing, Jose Jimenez (who now drives for Team Ordnance) had a fairly good day, considering how many times his IPS has pulled the plug on him. Jose started the #7 Dodge fifth and got to the wire in twelfth.
The Pro Series races where run with cloudy weather, a rather chilly 61 degrees, and a nasty south wind of 18 mph. For many drivers it was like someone had repaved the track with ice. Nevertheless, there were few cautions in all three races, with the Pro drivers having only three. There were eleven lead changes among seven Pro drivers. The average speed for the Pro Division was 153.984 mph.
Daniel White Holds Off Mick Chrisman to Take Win at Texas
When the race began, Russell Smith, Sr., and Daniel White had the cars to beat. Smith’s #63 Dodge took the pole is a speed of 185.465 for Team Ordnance, which would have placed him third on the grid in the Pro race. And White’s #114 Chevrolet was the only other car with a qualifying speed in the 185’s. The race shaped up early on to be a contest between the two drivers as they swapped the lead. But then Smith’s vision of his first win evaporated, and the Semi-Pro driver points lead with it, when Smith lost the air off his spoiler and he found the outside wall. After that, Smith’s Dodge became a handful to handle and on lap 94 he was forced to park it. Soon thereafter the seventh place starter, Mick Chrisman of Fort Royal, Virginia and TeamUSA Stripes, in his #09 Chevy took the lead. He lead a total of 27 laps, but Daniel White pushed his Sim Boys Racing Chevrolet and got by Chrisman. But Chrisman was not done and continued to press the leader hard, but White could not be pressed into making an error as he continued to hit his marks lap after lap. Chrisman’s pressing used up his tires as White started to pull slightly away at the checker. What was White’s second win of the season, may will have been Smith’s but for that accident.
Here is Daniel White’s blow-by-blow recap of the race, “Yes it was a very good run I had with Mick the last 45 laps or so. After starting on the outside of row one and following the pole sitter, Russ Smith Sr., for many laps, I figured I had a good chance of maintaining a second place finish. I knew from the practice races how long my tires lasted, and how well the car handled even after 40 or more laps on the tires. My original strategy was to stay out a full fuel run then pit for fresh rubber and fuel. However, after the third caution in less than 30 laps, I decided that the potential for more cautions was evident so I pitted, which I believe forced everyone else to pit. Then came the first long green flag run, and I found myself still in second place behind Russ Smith. He had a very fast car, and it was then I realized I had a good chance to win as his tires were going away on him. I could have passed him several times for the lead but opted instead to just follow because we still had about 60 laps to go. I figured on pitting when he did, and we'd have a battle at the end. A caution came out, and pitting for tires and fuel, I found myself in fifth and Russ in forth on the restart. We managed to get by one car and were closing rapidly on the leaders when Russ lost the air on his rear spoiler and looped it in turn one. This, however, did not bring out a caution, and the race continued under green. Mick had been dogging me the whole time, and he helped me draft past the leaders, where we both continued to separate ourselves from the field. I knew Mick also had a fast car and that catching me was the easy part; however, passing me would prove to be difficult. I knew if I hit my line entering and exiting every corner on every lap it would be a formidable task. All the while I was driving, I kept my eye on the mirror hoping he would drive in a little harder and burn up his tires. Then pulling away, assuring a victory would be easy. Unfortunately, this was not the case. As Mick himself would tell you, he tried everything in his racing experience to make me make a mistake. All the while, he was looking, searching for the opportunity to make a pass, perhaps hoping to blast past me exiting turn two leaving me in his exhaust as he thundered down the backstretch. As the laps counted down, my concentration level increased, my adrenalin rushed, and my heart pounded so loud I could hear it (over my speakers)! Just one slip-up entering or exiting and I would lose. A great feeling of relief flowed over me as I crossed the line to take the checkers. I knew it had been a tough battle and I had won, for this time anyway.”
Mick Chrisman had this to say about Daniel White and their fight to the finish, “First of all, my hat is off to Daniel White for some fantastic driving. I did all I could do to try and get Daniel to make a mistake, but I think the harder I pushed him the better he got. Track position means a lot at Texas, although I’m not sure I could have held him off, if I was in front of him. It was good to know that you can trust a driver like Daniel to run that hard with you. My hands and arms were just wore out after that fifty some lap run. Just some really great racin, today. Can’t wait till next week. Good job drivers.”
The driver from Greer, South Carolina in the #5 Chevrolet for TeamUSA Stars, was coming on at the end. We are talking of Glen Pittman. Prior to Bristol, Pittman luck was dismal. We’ll spare you the detail, but at Bristol he finally got out front for 13 laps and took home his first top five with a fourth place finish on the lead lap. He started fourth at Texas, which was no doubt a big asset in staying out of trouble, and only five caution flags helped keep the pace up. Toward the end Pittman fought it out with Steve Richard in the #81 Chevrolet. The Team Lightspeed driver was not about to let Pittman by without a contest. For lap after lap it appeared that Pittman had a car capable of catching the leaders, but time was not on Glen’s side and Steve was determine to hold him us up the clock. Finally Pittman got the red, white, and blue #5 around the #81 and he started slowly to make ground toward the leaders. And as White and Chrisman went at it up front, they assisted him. But Richard had not only used up time for Pittman, he had also made him use up his tires. With about fifteen laps to go, the gap between Pittman and the leaders started to widen. Pittman’s change at a win was perhaps one caution, ten laps, and a new set of Goodyears away.
It was at Atlanta that David Johnson leaped in to the Semi-Pro driver points lead only to have to hand it over to Russell Smith, Sr. at Bristol. But Smith’s troubles were not enough to just hand it back to Johnson. Johnson had to work for it or on the other hand maybe he just wanted to give himself a challenge. In any event, Johnson placed his #49 Chevy fourteenth in the field of sixteen cars. With Smith on the pole, Johnson was looking forward to a hard day’s work. Nevertheless, he fought his way to the front for one lap earning five bonus points. Not only that he remained competitive enough to stay on the lead lap and finish fifth, and thereby became the driver to make the greatest advancement of the day. As a result, the Jefferson City, Missouri driver has the driver points lead again for Super Sport Racing 2, albeit by on 16 points. By the way, Johnson is the only Super Sport Racing 2 team member racing in Semi-Pro.
Speaking of teams, the Loose Cannon Racing drivers Andy Bacio and Rene’ Steinkamp were seen after the race having a heart to heart. It was not quite clear what they were taking about (if you believe that one, I have some very choose bottom land out in Barataria, Louisiana that would be just perfect for you). Could it have had something to do with an incident that involved their number #58 and #118 Chevrolets very, very early in the race? And an incident that precipitated one of the five caution flags. The fortunate matter for the team was that driver Jason Shomper missed the event; otherwise they could have tried for a three-car boogie. Anyway, there was a lot of bent sheet metal back at their shop with Bacio out on lap 4 and Steinkamp out on lap 40, posting sixteenth and thirteenth finishes respectively.
There were thirteen lead changes among seven drivers over the course of the 134-lap event. Besides those already mentioned, John Holcomb lead for 2 laps in the #69 Dodge and finished sixth, last car on the lead lap. Steve Salvatore of Cocoa, Florida, was out front in the #66 Ford for one lap. He finished eleventh. Dean Day started thirteenth and finished seventh in the #29. Mike Barlow followed him in eighth in the #40 Chevy of TeamUSA Stripes. Following behind him were Russell Freund in the #98 Chevrolet and then Richard Perry in the #42 Chevrolet. Conspicuously absent from the race were two time winners Rich Ganser and Tre Landry. Neither took a provisional.
Joe McKinley was surprised to find his car on the track at the beginning of the race. The #21 Chevrolet of TeamUSA Stripes had only completed a total of 22 laps in five prior events. Perhaps his bad luck was about to turn around, but it was not to be. A prior winner of the Goody Headache Award, he almost took it home again. Joe was knock out early, but by hanging around until lap 21, he nearly doubled his number of completed laps. Another guy would can’t get a break is Scott Thomason driving the #39 Chevrolet of TeamUSA patriots. His best finish was eleventh at Darlington where he was taken out by an accident on lap 59. He almost matched that at Bristol where he started eighth but was again taken out by an accident on lap 50 and finished twelfth. At Texas he was out of the action by lap 9. Scott gets the Semi-Pro Goody’s Headache Award this week.
The Semi-Pro drivers committed only five cautions during the race, which matched their performance at Daytona. Five cautions is the fewest number ever recorded by Semi-Pro’s so far this season, but far better than their two digit numbers at every other event. Nevertheless, the Semi-Pro’s have a grand total of 90 cautions, which are 47 more than the Pro drivers and 57 more than the Stock drivers. Or put another way, given the average number of cautions per race, if the Semi-Pro drivers drove the next seven points races caution free, they would still be ahead of the other two Divisions. When an anonymous league official was asked give reasons for the high number of cautions among the Semi-Pro drivers, he was heard to say in total desperation, “Well, they insist upon getting on the track for one”. And in a late breaking news release, this reporter understands that the great state of Montana is considering a bill that would band Semi-Pro drivers from getting anywhere near their road system (yes, there are roads in Montana, but granted they are not very close together).
Rex Adams’ Win at Texas is First
Rex Adam was excited about his first win of the season, “It was a good clean race by all the drivers. I want to congratulate them all. My pit crew did a good job on both of my stops. "Racer's Luck", got Skip Carey (#18), he had it won but blew the motor. I guess I need to thank him? Thanks Skip, better luck next week. The race would have been lots closer but for the fact that Gary (Vega) and Chad (Moore) stayed out during the only caution and had to make a stop at the end. That helped me win also. I should thank them also? Thanks for not pitting during the only caution. I must say the T-Rex on the hood helped me eat up the track. (Laughing) After Skip left I knew the race was mine because Chad and Gary both had to pit again. I was really hoping that we would stay green and we did. Once again thanks to all the drivers in the race. They helped me win by driving clean and staying caution free. This is a great group to race with. I hope we can run the hole race caution free next week. If any group of racer can run a race caution free this crew can.”
Yes, it was the first win of the season for Rex Adams. He had the advantage of starting third. You could say that with the exception of Bristol and Darlington, the closer to the front you start, the better your chance of winning in the Stock Division. But you could be wrong. The first four races where all decided from fourth place forward. This maybe a product of the somewhat smaller starting fields, but the furthest back anyone has won has been from eight. This is not to downplay Adams accomplishment. After all, there is only one driver with more than one win, and that is the current points leader, Gary Vega with two. And with the exception of Bruce English’s win at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, all the winners are in the top five in points. Sure you say, they’re in the top five in points because they have all won races. But there is more. All five in points have six or more top tens and four have four or more top fives. Before Texas, the top five in points order down where, Gary Vega, Scott MacDougall, Chad Moore, Rex Adams, and Perry Malavolta. At Texas, Vega started fourth, MacDougall first, Moore tenth, Adams third, and Malavolta fifth. So with the exception of Moore, four of the top four started in the top five. Clearly Adams had to fight for the win. For one thing, the point’s leader was not about to lie down on the job as MacDougall, second in points, took the pole in the #109 for Team Storm Chaser with a speed of 184.843 mph. Vega needed to keep pace with MacDougall who was only 18 points behind him. And Chad Moore would was 57 points behind the leader didn’t want either of them to pull further ahead, so he was determine to come from tenth if at all possible. Setting in fifth was Malavolta, who could be the spoiler in the group.
At the start, the first test was to get pass MacDougall’s #109. This was accomplished early as Scott only managed to lead for 3 laps. By the end of the race, he was a lap down and finished sixth. Thomas Stinson in the #97 Ford took the outside pole, but he could only stay out front for a total of 3 laps too, but stayed with the lead pack and got a top five, finishing fifth. Chad Moore was up to the task, and pushed the #199 up from tenth, but then fall short after leading for only a total of 6 laps. The surprise of the field was Skip Carey, who started sixth. The Corpus Christi driver maneuvered his #18 up to the front and hung on to it for a total of 38 laps, but then collected some engine trouble and finished last, dropping out on lap 103. Malavolta bid ran out on lap 111. But with only one caution to slow them down, green pit stops played an important part for most of the field. But it was Gary Vega not pitting under the only caution that got him out front. Gary kept his #35 Pontiac of Arachnid Racing carrying the point for a total of 61 laps. Ken Vega also got into the act. Starting seventh Ken was there at the end in the #8 Pontiac for VEGCO Racing. But the Vega tandem did not intimidate Adams, who got the #38 Chevrolet to the front to stay, and while it may have only been for a total of 23 laps, he were still there for the last one and took a hard fought win back to Grand Junction, Colorado. As to the other contenders, oh but for one more caution near the end they might have had T-Rex for lunch.
The Stock race took 1:10 hours with an average speed of 171.8 mph. The margin of victory was huge at 28.92. There were ten lead changes among six drivers. And yes, only one caution period.
The Race for Team Points
If you were expecting significant changes in the Team Points Race, we can get you a doctor’s appointment via the Voodoo Majek Chicken’s Health Care HMO. The condition you have can be treated (and successfully at that). All you really need to know about this race is that Super Sport Racing 1 team maintained their 30 point lead over Excalibur Racing Sword to stay put in the number one slot. But if you must know more, then savor that Excalibur Racing Shield took home 20 points at Texas taking over third by racing by Blue Cobalt Motorsports, which picked up only 6 points. Shield was only one point behind Cobalt after Bristol. Almost everyone else stood their ground with the exception of Mach 1 Motorsports, which swapped places with BT Motorsports B team to drop to eleventh. And then there is the matter that TeamUSA Stars wants to forget that Team Ordnance pulled in 16 points to tie with them with a total of 52 to share sixth spot. Team Ordnance was quick to point that out. Sorry TeamUSA Stars, but you know what to do with them at the next race. {Hey, I know that Team Ordnance did not call us about that, but it makes for good copy. Besides they mostly likely didn’t even know that they pulled into the tie. Geez}
Voodoo Majek Prediction for Coca-Cola???
What Coca-Cola race?! Isn’t the next race scheduled for Martinsville? Well yes, it is or was. Flashpoint Newsletter through its underground connections (i.e. we stepped into a gopher hole) has been informed by one of your top-secret informants that the Voodoo Majek Chicken apparent got his hands on the Martinsville code and made a few adjustments to the pace car routine. The result is that the pace car has a nasty habit of taking out most of the field during cautions. Now everyone knows that with perhaps the exception of the Semi-Pro drivers, that there are never, ever any cautions at Flashpoint scheduled races. Nevertheless, in an abundance of (can we use the word) caution, the League has decided to forego the Martinsville points race and substitute “a just for fun” race at the Coca-Cola Superspeedway. Those of you that disagree or would prefer to take on the Martinsville pace car, you have been scheduled for a friendly visit to the Voodoo Majek Chicken HMO Clinic located just behind the Junk Yard Dog Café on East of North-Westbound Boulevard. And don’t forget; when you get to the fork in the road, go either way. {It sure looks like things are starting to go to pot again in this rag}
What?! The Voodoo Majek Chicken did what? OK, let’s nip this in the old bud right now. Those of you that have read on the Flashpoint ezboard that the Flashpoint Newsletter is about to fold have been lied too. Some how the Chicken got a hold of the ezboard password and posted a falsehood that this fine rag of yellow journalism was going to close shop. {What?! And he posted it under whose name? Me! Well, got %$%&@ that old rubber fart.} Nothing could be further from the truth. {Look, I don’t have time to deal with this type of you know what. Let, Joe Lomas take care of it for all I care. I’ve got an important newsletter to get out. We’ll deal with it lately.} I can assure you that this fine publication will be around for a long time to come. {Not if Lomas doesn’t give me another raise soon. I’ve just about had it with these “for peanuts” wages}.
OK, lets get back to the business at hand. At first the Voodoo Majek Chicken was reluctant to make a prediction. After all its just a “fun race” or non-points race (Besides, any true racecar driver knows that a non-points race is no fun). Nevertheless, we here at the Flashpoint Newsletter know the needs of our loyal readers {although giving out free candy bars does appear to improve readership. If you have not received your candy bar, please call 1-900-555-STICKYMESS}, and so, we have pulled out all the stops to get the Chicken in here to make yet another unforgettable prediction. {Unlock the cage Chuckie, and get the darn bird in here.} But before doing that, we did to rectify {code for clean up yet another fine mess we made} last week’s prediction. You might recall {thank god most of our readers can’t remember yesterday, no less last week} that the Voodoo Majek Chicken {and thank god again that I had nothing to do with it} predicted that Daniel Finkel would take home the checker at Texas. Well, therein lies the problem {like we shouldn’t let the dumb bird make predictions to begin with}. You, see the Chicken, who really is trying hard to do a good job, sought of got the name wrong {aye, he totally blew it}. He should have said Dave Finkel, not Daniel Finkel. Dave, the Chicken is really very sorry about that. And we would like to add, but for that slight error, Dave would have won the race rather than being glued to the 14th spot on the grid {was he a sleep or what?}. Sorry again Dave. The Chicken promises he’ll get it right next time {Dave, there ain’t going to be a next time. So don’t worry about it. And I’d check into the Voodoo Majek Chicken HMO Clinic to see about that sleep deprivation problem you say you have.}
So, with that out of the way, on with the prediction. In light of this being just a “fun race”, we have decided to have the Voodoo Majek Chicken predict the winner of both the Semi-Pro and Stock race {more like the Pro guys have had two shots at it and have blown it both times. No way the Chicken was at fault}. Drum roll please. Oh, shoots. I apologize. I forgot our sound system is still shot to heck. Instead, please. A moment of silence for our brave Voodoo Majek Chicken {the two-headed freak}. The Chicken is now fully primed (over ate again) and ready to fire. OK, let it rip. Ping! Pong! Groof! {You know Chuckie this bow thing isn’t really working out. We are going to have to look into more modern technology. Get to work on it right away. Sure thing Boss}. Our apology to the lady third from right in the front row. Sorry, Lady {That was a really nasty ricochet. Ouch}. The Chicken has given its life once again (Animal Protection Waiver Statement: No living chicken, a live or dead was used in this undertaking) and the winner of the Semi-Pro Coca-Cola Super Speedway race will be David Johnson {That’ll teach David not to point out on the ezboard our errors on getting his name screwed up with someone else and indicating that he doesn’t hardly, if ever, get mentions in the newsletter. Now ridiculous is that. And that thing about maybe confusing him with the likes of John Holocomb. That’s funny. We would never insult John like that. Ya, who does he think he is? Smith, Jones, Taylor, James W. Stroughter (deceased) or someone with money? He probably thinks he fooled us with that nice comment he made. We’re not falling for it. No Sir. Who is John Holocomb anyway?} And for the Voodoo Majek Chicken prediction in the Stock Division, the winner no doubt about it will be Scott MacDougall {Darn. Scott is a good guy. How are we ever going to make it up too him. Sorry, Buddy}.
Legal Note: We have been advised here at the Flashpoint Newsletter that some of our printed comments might be offensive to our readers, not to mention, Flashpoint drivers. Therefore the following affirmation is made: “We meant it, we meant it. We truly, truly meant ever word of it. Yes, every disparaging remark, slander, slight, insult, and character assassination. We truly meant it. And we don’t care a rat’s butt who is offended by it.” {Jesus, that is not the statement the twenty-six attorneys sweated over who knows how many hours or days preparing for you to read. Now get out there and recite word for word their prepared statement.} Sorry, by an awful error, I read the statement written by Chuckie. Please, I am very sorry. I apologize to everyone in anyway connected with Flashpoint and our loyal following. Here is the statement prepare by our esteemed legal advisors: Put a sock in it! {Oh boy, the stuff of law suits. I give up}.
Tune in next time, when our Voodoo Majek Chicken and our lightening smart legal team get together to try to get us out of this inglorious mess {What? The Chicken’s press agent wants to talk to me. Press agent?! I insulted him? God heavens!}.
Late news flash: Flashpoint Newsletter has just received its first award for publishing brilliance. The award was presented by the Voodoo Majek Chicken HMO to the Flashpoint Newsletter for, and we quote, “Outstanding Achievement in Avoiding the Obvious”. Way to go guys.